Monday, December 26, 2011

I wish I had all the answers...

For some reason lately Isaiah has been full of questions. Questions I don't have answers to. Here is an example of our conversation in the car traveling on Christmas day:
Mom, is Aunt Mandy's house blue?
Yes it is a bluish gray
Does she still live there with Uncle Jon?
No, she lives in Heaven
Why does she live in Heaven?
Because she went to live with Jesus
What does her house look like?
She lives in a big mansion now with streets made of gold
Why did she go live with Jesus?
(Bill please answer him because I can't)
Sometimes, God decides that it time for you to go live with him
Can I go see Aunt Mandy in Heaven?
Someday, God will call you and it will be your time
Will I see her when I get there?
Yes you will
But I don't know if I will remember what she looks like?
She will standing at the pearly gate waiting for you with her arms wide open. She will be the one calling you handsome because that's what she always called you
How will I get to Heaven? It's way up in the sky and I can't fly
Jesus will let you know when and He will call you
But what if I can't hear him?
You will buddy when it's your time but I hope it's not anytime soon

As I sit here typing this, he comes up to me with a present from yesterday and says, "I want to give this to Aunt Mandy, if I hold it up to the sky, will she reach down and get it?"
All I can do is smile and fight back the tears.

My baby was only two and a half when he lost her. He will miss out in this life on the opportunity to know the best aunt a child could ask for. But I will make sure he remembers her, I will make sure that when he gets to those pearly gates, he will know exactly who he's looking for!
It's been an emotional Christmas for me. Most days, I am okay but I can't handle the questions. I can't understand it either, how can I expect my kids to. It's been three and a half years but still feels like yesterday.
I never thought I would have to answer these questions. I always thought we'd laugh and cry together, complain about our husbands together, raise families together, grow old together.

Hug your kids, kiss your husband, call that relative, tell them you love them.

Monday, November 21, 2011

It's 9 AM but...

it feels like 9 PM!
I feel like I could sit down with a glass of wine but instead I will have another cup of coffee and write this post.
This past weekend, like almost every other weekend, has been jam packed.
As I sigh...I will continue...
Two out of three, of my youngest children decided to cut their own hair. My youngest, (you know him well because he is mentioned in almost every post) took a chunk out of his hair so close to his scalp there was no way to fix it, he now has a military buzz! The other one, my dear Jacob, took a chunk right out of the middle of his forehead, (sigh, again)! Do I have to mention he is nine! Why oh why does he do these things? I do not know...
So, he had to get a "not as short as Isaiah cut" but a pretty short cut. Then, poor Joshua, innocent in all of this had to be a victim of the short cut too because they all have to look alike.
All of this excitement happens just in time for Christmas pictures! I guess it will be a picture to talk about in years to come, "Remember the year...."
Yesterday, Isaiah turned six. I can not believe it. I get sad with every passing year. Every birthday, every kid, every year, I remember the day I had them and wish for a moment I could go back to that day and hold them again. Even though you enjoy every moment, seeing your kids grow up is hard on a mom.
Also yesterday, we were with Bill's family as they baptized their newest addition. What a precious little boy. As if I wasn't already an emotional mess, holding that little boy took me back to when my own kids were that little. Back to when they needed you for everything, you are their lifeline then they grow up...
Sigh, again!
Maybe I will have that glass of wine!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

My dilemma

So, anyone who has been around my children knows that they are 100% boy. I am glad they are tough little boys. But sometimes that "tough" makes my life a little tough!
Isaiah's teacher asked to talk to me yesterday. My heart sunk, first thing in my mind was "Oh no, what could he have done?" Knowing Isaiah, it could be anything! He hasn't developed that filter yet. I had so many thoughts going through my head, I was sick.
I met with her and she said that another parent had called the principal because Isaiah kicked her son. My first thought was what am I going to do with that kid! Then, she went on to say when and where it happened. Isaiah wasn't there at that time.
Do I think it happened? It very well could have. I am not foolish to believe he isn't capable of doing it. He can be a monster, I say that with love because he is my monster! But I have seen him in action.
Do I think that the whole truth is being told? No, I don't. I think it was a game of push and shove and someone had to take the blame.
I am not defending my son, I wasn't there to see it and I will deal with it appropriately but I am upset that because of this, he has to go to the principals office. Because the parent called the school, it is procedure.
I sat Isaiah down after school yesterday and talked to him. He didn't deny the accusation but said they were both messing around. I told him he was going to have to go to the principals office at school today, he cried and cried. My heart broke to see the fear in his face. After we talked some more he said he doesn't want to go to kindergarten anymore and wants to go back to preschool. I had to be tough when I wanted to cry with him and explain to him it is a hard lesson learned. He has to learn when to walk away and when it's time to find different friends. He is 5, he doesn't understand, everyone is his friend.
I sit here upset today, crying, thinking of how scared my baby is today. I keep telling myself the same thing another teacher told me, it may be an eye opener. Maybe, he will see the importance of listening and walking away.
I know I am not a perfect parent, I didn't write this to hear what a good mom I am because I know I can do better. I write this because I love those boys and it hurts me to see them hurt and scared. It helps me sort through my thoughts and to put how I feel in writing.
I have a lot of mixed feelings over this situation. I wonder why it wasn't something the teacher wasn't told about first? Why was it brought right to the principal? I will never say it was okay for him to do what he did if he did it, he will face consequences for his behavior. But I also will stand by the way I feel, I wouldn't have got the principal involved unless there was bruises, blood or broken bones. Or if it was an ongoing thing.
Kids are going to be kids, I know that my kids have been on the other side of it too. They have came to me as the "victim." My response is to stay away from that person, if it continues, we can deal with it. Most of the time, it doesn't happen again.
I am making myself crazy over this, feeling like I have failed somewhere. I have always said they might drive me crazy at home but I can handle that as long as they are good at school. This is a first, none of my kids have ever been sent to the principals office.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

A lot has happened since...

my last post.
My Jacob turned nine. I will never forget the day we had him. I remember how Bill took his time getting out of the house and decided to drive the speed limit on the way to the hospital. I don't know why he didn't believe me when I told him we were going to have a baby. Twenty minutes after we get to the hospital, there was Jacob. I really don't think he has stopped since. He walked at nine months, has always gotten up early and just been a nonstop bundle of energy (we like to call it "spaz"). I couldn't imagine a day without him. He is a bit of a handful but he is a good hearted kid and genuinely cares about others.
Let's birthday decided to come and I had to turn 39. All I can say is YIKES! I hear 40 knocking. I guess as long as I don't feel it or look it, I'm okay? Right?
Also, my friend Delilah decided to move away. I didn't think it would be so hard, especially, in this day and age with Facebook and cell phones but it is. She is that friend who probably knows too much about me but didn't run away. She is the friend you could have an argument with and the next day it was like it never happened. Good friends are hard to come by...
Speaking of good friends, we had a clambake. I am not sure why we had a clambake since the main reason to have one is to eat clams and no one really liked clams...
It was fun. It is a group of people I love to get together with. Next time, we won't be doing a clambake though!
We have just been crazy busy. Football is a huge commitment but the boys love it. We will cook dinner again someday :)
Days keep coming, time goes so fast, I wish I could hold on to it!
Hopefully, it won't be over a month before I post again!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

How did this happen?

I have never been a fan of football. I remember hating Sundays because I didn't wan't to waste the day watching football! It was 4 hours in front of a TV to watch grown men knock each other down.
I couldn't stand it. I got mad, had an attitude, and probably even stomped off like a big baby! I would get nasty, slam doors, turn up music, run the vacuum just to let my husband know I was irritated!
I HATED the sport!
Then, along came my Joshua and he loved the sport. It was crazy. He knew players names, numbers, and teams. He had his own favorite team, different from his dads, and he rooted for them. He would jump off the couch yelling. He would get really upset if his team didn't win. When football wasn't on TV, he was watching it on youtube. He would even watch the combine on ESPN.
So, you can only imagine that when he got old enough, he wanted to play. I have never seen him want something so much!
We signed him up this fall and, no surprise, he loves it. He looks forward to it every night. I knew he would love it but, what I didn't know was...Isaiah would want to play too! He insisted, so we signed him up.
So, here I am, the woman who despised football, at the field every night, watching my two youngest boys practice. I love to watch them. I still have a lot to learn about the game but it takes on a whole new meaning when your kids are out there. Sure, you cringe when helmets hit, when he gets a black eye, or gets up holding his arm and the coach is asking if he's okay. But inside you are swelling with pride! You find yourself looking forward to it every night.
As for football on Sundays, over the years I have learned to accept it. After all, who doesn't enjoy an afternoon nap?

Sunday, July 24, 2011

As I sit here today

I read posts on facebook about how unhappy some peoples lives are. I am reminded that three years ago today, I sat by my dying sisters bedside, helpless. There was nothing I could do to help her, to change the situation. I sang with her, I fed her, I held her hand, I gave her water, I cried and I prayed for things to be different. I wanted my sister to talk to me but she couldn't. I wanted her to sit up, get out of that bed and tell me she was going to be okay but she didn't. I wanted her to come back to my house, have dinner, hang out with the kids, like we always did but she would never do that again. As I think about the vacation we took to Mexico, it's all a memory. We will never walk those beaches again.
I left her house that night knowing, but not accepting, what I knew God was going to do. I would never hug my sister again, I would never hear her voice again. My kids weren't going to see her again. It was all a memory.
So, before you post that post to complain about something that you can change remember there is someone out there dealing with something they can't change.
If he is not good for you, don't have a baby with him. If he cheats on you, don't stay with him. If it's too hot outside, go sit somewhere with A/C. If you kids make you crazy, thank God they are healthy. If your parents did you wrong, forgive them and move on.
Resentment will get you nowhere. You control your destiny, you make choices, make them good ones. Complaining doesn't fix it. Don't blame anyone else for your unhappiness.
Life will hand you things that are out of your control, make lemonade out of the lemons or wine out of the sour grapes which ever you prefer.
I watched my sister deal with learning she had cancer, she never complained. She made the best out of each day. She lived life to the fullest. She never wished it wasn't her.
If she were here today and had a facebook page her status wouldn't be negative, it would be:
"Life is good"
just like her bumper sticker used to say.
Or maybe it would be:
"Enjoy life, it's too short to be unhappy."
"Celebrate life, it may not be yours tomorrow."

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Where do they come up with this stuff?

Yesterday, while we driving in the truck Isaiah turns around and asks Joshua, "Are you hot?" Joshua says to him, "Do you mean the hot when you are sweating or the hot when someone thinks you're cute?" I just had to laugh.
Then today, after Safety Town, Isaiah has a coloring book that they gave him and there is a fox on the front cover. He says,"Mom, see that fox...that's what you look like!" Thank you son:)
If only....
It's funny how your dad is always better than someone else's dad. I hear them talking all the time about how strong or tough their dad is. Once, I even heard, "My dad can beat up his stepdad!" Let's play nice boys...
Since the recent tornado warnings, they have not stopped talking about how their dad has survived "like 75 tornados in his life!" I love how they look up to their dad, he is a hero in their eyes and I hope he always is.
I am working on a blog of the "Vocabulary of a Looman boy" I am not quite done with it yet, I keep think of more things they say. I am glad I started blogging to have a record of things they do.

Friday, June 10, 2011

I am not sure

that I was made to be the mother of a teenager!
I don't like freedom. I mean, I love freedom, my own freedom, but I do not like it when my kids want it.
They should have to stay where I can see them at all times!
Poor Tyler, he knows his mom is a bit of a freak. Last night, he went to youth group with a friend and he didn't get home until 10:30. He knew when he walked in the door I was in a state of panic and the first thing he said was, "I know, it's late, I told him at 9:00 I was ready and my mom is going to start worrying." I said, "Next So, I am not sitting here wondering what has happened."
It's horrible, the thoughts that go through your mind when your kids aren't home. I know Tyler is a good kid (or at least has me fooled) but bad things can happen to good kids. I do not like the thought of him driving or driving with someone, it's scary.
He has started a job this week. He is so excited and I am so proud of him for getting the job all on his own. But it's another part of letting go, another piece of my heart, gone. In my mind I think, what's next? A car, a girlfriend, his own house, married, the list goes on and I am not ready for all that.
Even though I didn't know it then, I must have made my mom crazy with all my late nights. Letting go is hard, whether its first steps, first day of school, or first date. I want to keep them little forever but unfortunately I can't. I need to learn to embrace it and accept the new adventures life throws my way.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Chasing my own tail?

It is really funny to watch a cat chase it's tail...not so funny when it's me.
My days are the same, everyday the same. I am okay with it most of the time. But sometimes, it makes me crazy.
Like when you clean the house...
You clean one room, go onto the next, come back into the first and think to yourself, "Did I not just spend and hour, maybe two cleaning?"
As far as kids bedrooms go, I think there should be an unwritten law: Close the door so nobody sees inside until you are old enough to keep it clean yourself.
Simple and saves me the hassle...yeah right, if only!
Then, there are pillows! The pillows for our couches spend more time on the floor than they do on the couch. Every time, you walk through the living room you bend over pick them up go up stairs or wherever you were headed come back and there they are...on the floor again! Then, you think to yourself, "Did I not just pick these up the last time I walked through?"
The cat litter box...Why is it that the minute I put the lid back on after cleaning it a cat has to go take care of business. Never fails, every time! Around and around we go!
Oh, and should I dare talk about the bathroom? I get the most frustrated with this room! There are days when my lungs are burning from the bleach smell! Finally, it is clean then wouldn't you know...someone's gotta go!

I remember when I first started blogging I said I should have named my blog, "Will my bathroom ever be clean again?" now I am thinking it should be...
"When will the hole on the toilet be big enough?" or
"If you can't make it in the hole, please, sit down!"
The list could go on...
"Does anyone but mom know where the hamper is?"
"Is it really necessary to hit your brother as you walk by?"
"How many times do I have to tell you not to climb on the counter?"
"Go sit in your bed and don't come down until you are ready to behave!"
"Stop slamming doors before someone loses a finger!"
"Can we please enjoy a meal without the arguing?"
"When will I learn that if the kids are quiet, it's not a good thing!?!?"
or we could go with, simply...
"Now, what's broken?"
because when I call Bill at work that is usually the first thing that comes out of his mouth!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Family tree

Why is it so hard for kids to understand? I don't know if its all kids or just mine. But trying to figure out the concept of a family tree gets them every time.
I dread when they start questioning things.
Having a blended family brings up a lot of questions. I remember Jacob asking Jenna if her dad died because in his young mind none of it made sense. How was she his sister? Why was she calling his dad "dad"? Who was her mom?
Poor Isaiah thinks that when you grow up you either become a mom or dad. Sounds right?!? Not exactly! He insists that he is going to be the dad and either Joshua or Jacob are going to be the mom. Because he is not going to be the one who turns into a girl! Then when they try to tell him they will all have their own wives, he gets upset, "MOM! Tell them I am going to be the dad!" It's impossible...he'll get it soon enough.
When Tyler said to Isaiah, "When I have a kid..." I said, "In twenty years, right?"..."You will be an uncle." "NO! I AM NOT GOING TO BE A GIRL!" "An uncle is a boy, an aunt is a girl" "MMMOOMMM!, Tell him!"
Simple concept? Not really! Something tells me he doesn't want to be a girl :)
I remember when they asked me who my mom and dad were. I told them grandma and grandpa. They didn't get that at first either. For some reason, Bill was supposed to be my dad because he is their dad. It seems so simple but I guess in their minds it didn't make sense.

But all those questions were simple compared to what Joshua asked this weekend, "Mom, I know that I am your kid because I came out of your belly but how can I be dad's?"
Joshua has a question for you!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

"You're a classroom celebrity"

Today, when I got to Joshua's class to help the kids his teacher came out to the hall to tell me I was a "classroom celebrity." She heard all about Joshua's party. I told her there was one point during the party I told them I was going to have her come over to keep them in line because she lives around the corner. She said I should have! She is a really good teacher. I think I have said it before but I will say it again, teachers are very special people and they do not get the respect they deserve. I am guilty, I never realized what they did until I volunteered as much as I do. I told Bill they should put me on payroll. He said, "Why? Then, you wouldn't enjoy it as much." He's right. I am glad I get a chance to be in the school with my kids.
Anyway, back to Joshua's teacher, she said this weekend she had her dads 88th birthday party and they put 88 candles on the cake! She showed me the picture. I told her she is lucky I am not going to have a first grader next year or I would bring her a cake with a lot of candles on it!
And, since we are talking kids, have you ever wanted to bottle giggles. I love to hear kids giggle. you know, the giggle when they are watching Tom and Jerry and they don't realize you are listening. If there was a way to bottle it and open it years later just to hear them giggle again. You would never be sad, if you felt a sad moment coming on you would just open the bottle. Who doesn't smile at the sound of a happy kid? It's those little things that you miss.
And, since we are talking about missing things, lately people have been telling me about things I am going to miss. Giggles and hugs and kisses, I will miss. But, when you tell me I am going to miss the fighting and bickering and arguing, I am not so sure. Getting notes like this...

you can bet I'll miss!
(Bill wants to know why he is an after thought though?)

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Today, Joshua turns seven...
I remember that week like it was yesterday. We were moving into our house, buying a car, and had a baby.
We love you Joshua.

Monday, April 11, 2011

10 years later...

Yesterday, our pastor said, "I can tell you, this man loves this woman." I know Bill loves me but to hear someone else say it, it has a different meaning.

I didn't do anything to deserve him but I am glad God sent him my way...

I love you, Sherry,

and I know that God has brought us together.

Because of this,

I desire to be your husband and best friend, always.

Together we will serve Him in accordance with His plan,

so that in all areas of our life Christ will be evident.

Through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future,

I promise to be faithful to you.

There will be no other.

I promise to always forgive you no matter what you have done,

so that nothing will ever separate us.

I promise to love, guide, and protect you as Christ does His Church,

as long as we both are alive.

According to Ephesians 5 and with His enabling power,

I promise to strive to show to you the same kind of love, on a daily basis,

as Christ showed the Church when He died for her,

and to love you as a part of myself because in His sight we are one.

If you were to tell me ten years ago I would be standing here renewing my wedding vows, I wouldn’t have believed you. But I stand here today with you, my best friend, in front of our friends and family to rededicate our marriage. You have changed my life and made me complete. I am a better person because of you. I have learned how to love and be loved. I have learned to believe in myself. I have been blessed with the gift of our children and felt the happiness of being a mother. I have the honor of raising our children with you. The past ten years have brought more joy I could have ever imagined and I look forward to making many more memories. They have also brought some of the worst pain that I have ever felt and never thought I could bear. But I stand here today because you stood by me. You held my hand, you lifted me up, you let me cry, and pulled me through. I don’t know what this life has yet to bring us but I know that as long as you are by my side we will make it through. I promise to walk with you for the rest of my life. I promise to be faithful to you. I promise to be there for you whenever you need me. I will hold your hand through the hard times. I will rejoice with you in the happy times. I thank God for leading me to that little church where we met. I also thank Him because there are no coincidences we were meant to be and I know that as long as we walk together with Him this marriage will last forever.

Sunday, April 3, 2011


I can't say that I was doing everything right. I knew there was still a lot more to change. I still had a lot of pride to swallow and huddles to get over. I was broken. I believe I was right where God wanted me. Sometimes when I look back I can't even imagine what I was doing and thinking. I remember wanting to do it my way. But, my way led to one dead end after the other. Finally, after swallowing my pride, I moved back home. I couldn't keep living my life wrong and expect God to bless me.
I remember Mandy bought me a bible for my birthday that year. I carried that bible with me to work! We even tried starting a bible study before work. People must have thought I went off the deep end, all of the sudden I was a "Jesus freak!" That new christian feeling lasts for a little while, but it wears off. But the feeling of knowing your life is different doesn't.
I continued to go to church. I stayed involved. I knew I was there for a reason. I looked at my life and I knew that I someday wanted to be married but I didn't see it happening anytime soon. My dad liked to use his "prophecy" skills and would often say I was going to meet that certain someone in church. He would even throw in a "and he is going to have dark hair and brown eyes." I just laughed.
Time passed and I found the answer to the age long question...
Is the way to a man's heart really through is stomach?
Yes, it is!
I remember the first time I saw Bill Looman. My heart skipped a beat! There was no way he was the one for me. As he sang, Sunday after Sunday, I just admired him from a distance. My sister often said he reminded her of Tim McGraw and if you know Mandy you know how she "loved" Tim. Mandy, you silly girl, I don't stand a chance with him! Stop it, this is not why we go to church!
One Sunday, I made cookies for after the service. And that is when it happened. I heard him asking who made the cookies. I can not even tell you how excited I was! Fumbling for words, as I said it was me. He liked my cookies! This means something! Will I make you some more, you bet I will! He didn't have brown eyes but they were close enough!
Bill and I have come a long way since the day I told Mandy that he asked me out and she did a cartwheel in the living room.
Did God lead me to that church?
Yes, he did!
Tomorrow, Bill and I celebrate ten years together. We have made it through some of the greatest times and some of the worst times of this life. I don't know what the future holds but I know I am going to walk through this life with my best friend. We will stand up to whatever life throws at us because as long as I have him I have everything I need.

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12

Monday, March 28, 2011


When you start going to back to church it can be overwhelming, there are so many of them. Where do you start?
Mandy and I went to that church for awhile. We didn't really feel a connection. Sunday after Sunday, we came and went. We didn't build relationships, we just attended. We weren't sure if it was the church for us.
Then one day, my cousin invited me to a Mary Kay party. I wasn't crazy about it because I am not really a big make up person. When she told me her pastor's wife was the consultant, I was even more hesitant. She wouldn't give up, so I gave in and went. I had a good time talking with some of the people from her church. When I was talking to the pastor's wife, she asked me where we were going to church. I explained to her that I was tired of going to a church for months and no one knew even our names. She invited us to her church the next morning. I told her I wasn't sure what I was going to do.
The next morning, I decided I would try her church. After all, it was five minutes from home and I didn't have to go back if I didn't like it. You can bet I did the same thing on the way to church. I tried to get out of it until the very last second, "God, if I walk in there and she doesn't remember my name, I AM NOT going back to this church!" Usually, I am sure God doesn't like ultimatums but He must have wanted me there. I walked in the door and Jan came up to me, hugged me, and said, "I am so glad you decided to come, Sherry." She remembered my name sometimes it's the little things that mean so much.
Her husband, Bob, was a very good pastor. He spoke about things that pertained to everyday life. He often would bring lawn mowers or various other power tools in to make his point. Every lesson had a prop and a good message behind it. I remember he said, "To solve a problem you must first eliminate the source." I don't know why, it seems so simple and it's common sense but I use it still. When I find myself trying to solve a problem, I now find myself wondering 'what is the source of this problem and how can I get rid of it?'
We got pretty involved in that church, Awana Clubs, Vacation Bible School, nursery, and even joined bible studies. It seemed as though I found a good church but, did God have more? Could it be that I was lead there for some reason I didn't know yet? I still wasn't sure what it was but I decided I liked that church and I was going to stay.

to be continued...

Saturday, March 26, 2011

The early stage...

At one point, my life was crazy. I was searching for happiness somewhere, anywhere. I was determined to find it on the dance floor or at the bottom of that glass.
One day, a friend said to me, "Sherry, what are you doing? Some day, you are going to stand before God and He is going to want to know why you haven't taught your little boy about Him."
There was a
Right there on my face
I was responsible for my son knowing right from wrong. If I didn't change my ways, God was going to hold me responsible for not teaching my son about Him.
I don't know what hit me that day. My parents had always taken us to church. We knew about God. Why wasn't I doing right? There was something that scared the life out of me about standing before the God of our universe and not having an answer for Him.
I started taking Tyler to church. I decided I was going to change my life. There was more out there for me in life.
I remember, in the car, on the way, still trying to get out of it. I said, "God, if Tyler cries when I put him in that nursery, I am leaving!" I even remember telling Mandy about my little prayer. I got a surprise when I walked into that church. Tyler walked into that nursery! Not a single tear! I am a "burning bush" type person. If something is meant for me it has to be right there in front of my face. I guess it was God's way of telling me, "Sherry, I have plans for you...change you life, follow me, and see how I can bless you."
I was scared of the unknown. I wasn't sure where to begin. It was more than going to church. It was a change of heart, of lifestyle, of attitude. Life began to have meaning, a different meaning than before.
I can't tell you I haven't messed up since then. I can tell you that I stopped trying to find happiness in places it wasn't. The road is still being paved but as it's being paved it is being blessed. be continued

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Does it work?

Have you ever prayed for something over and over and it doesn't happen? Have you ever just gotten discouraged because the answer may not be the one you are looking for?
Sometimes, I just don't understand why I go through such a dry spell, not a prayer answered for what seems like forever.
I have prayed for things lately that I wonder if God hears me. I know He does and I want to believe the things I pray are in His will but I am not God.
God is God and I am not that is just the way it is!
I believe in prayer. I believe God hears every one of them. I believe He will answer but it will be in His time.
I prayed for my sister to get better, God had a different plan and it was obviously not the same as mine. Now, here I am still trying to figure out why and how to face tomorrow because it is no easier today than on that day.
I prayed for friends. I have prayed for family. I have prayed for healing. I have prayed for hope. I have prayed for strength. I have prayed for peace. I have prayed for understanding.
God has heard every prayer. He has held every tear. Some day, it will all make sense. Some day, I will see Mandy, my little brother, my grandparents, and anyone else I have lost. Then, it will all make sense.
God answered a prayer for a friend today.
Does it work?
Yes, it does!
Is the timing right?
Yes, it is!
Was it the answer I wanted?
Yes, it was!
Is it always?
No, it is not!
I thank God for being God. For doing the things that I can not do. For holding me up when I fall. For giving me hope when I am hopeless.
Prayer works just believe!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

A little bit of ramble...

So, this past week was an interesting one.
The weather has been yucky. I know that we live in Ohio, get used to it, but it is just not fun when it gets up to 60 one day and then school is cancelled the following week. I can handle winter until that first warm up.
On Tuesday, they decided to try delayed start for the first time. I am not sure how I feel about it. The kids didn't understand why they were going to school so late. They get to school just in time to eat lunch. There is no AM kindergarten which I also don't quite agree with. I guess if you going to delay school you might as well just cancel it, just my opinion.
Jacob was sent home from school on Wednesday. He had a fever. When I took him to the doctor, he was fine. But since there are so many things going around, he put him on an antibiotic to be safe. I kept him home Thursday just to be on the safe side. Then they cancel school on Friday, so he got a whole 5 hours of school in last week.
Basketball season is coming to a close for Jacob and Joshua. They have gotten so much better as the season went on. The more they play the more they will become confident in the sport. I am sad to see the season end but I am excited about next year. I am such a big baby, I tear up every time I watch them play.
Tyler got an electric guitar. I guess I really do not have to say anything else. He has been teaching himself, which is pretty cool. I have just learned for the most part to block out a lot of the noise that is coming from his room!
Isaiah has been, well...Isaiah. I have to register him for kindergarten next month. Where has it gone? I posted on Facebook what he said to me about staying little. He told me all I have to do is give him "little" pills. I sure wish I knew where to even find some "slow down time a little" pills!

Saturday, February 5, 2011


I need to get with it!
Time just flies by
We seem to stay busy and often I forget to blog. I wish I wouldn't because someday I want to make it a book for my kids. I think they will enjoy looking back and reading about what "poopyheads" they were. Yes, I said "poopyhead" Why? because I can! I am surrounded by so many boys I am surprised I don't belch and "you know" out loud. I went to the hairdresser today and she said I know you want a little girl so bad but those boys are going to take care of you someday. They may be hard now but it will be worth it someday. Girls are so different, she said, and they can be so critical about how you look and what you wear.
I was telling her about how this past week I went into the library to read to Joshua's class, first grade, and one of the girls told me that my hair looked so nice. I chuckled because you would never hear my boys say that! The girls are always commenting on something, to me, it's just funny how different they are and it starts so young.
Today, Bill and I had our first dance lesson. How did it go? I don't know...the instructor never showed up!!! How rude! We sat for over 40 minutes.
The boys have started basketball. It is so fun to watch 1st and 2nd graders play ball. I would think it would be hard to be the referee. It is good for them to be a part of a team and interact with other kids.
This weekend we are getting together with a bunch of friends and heading to Hibachi Japan...I am excited, it is going to be so much fun. Every time we get together, we have a good time.
I guess I am done with my randomness for now. I should, since it it six o'clock, think about what we are going to have for dinner!

Friday, January 14, 2011

The Man I Want To Be

I have always loved music but those of you who know me know that I have always loved country music. I know that some songs are a bit out there but there are a lot of songs that have meaning. There are songs I listen to when I want to remember, songs I listen to when I just want to cry, songs I listen to when I feel like God has moved, and songs I listen to when I think about my husband.
Bill has a list of songs on his ipod that remind him of me. He listens to it all the time, so much that he has the words of all the songs memorized.
I am so blessed to have been given such a good man. My husband is all the man I need and all the man I could ever want. For me, he is perfect. But to know that he is always striving to be a better man makes me realize how lucky I really am.
One day, I was in my truck and one of the songs from his list came on the radio. I turned it up an, for the first time, listened to the words. As tears streamed down my face, I realized how much time and effort my husband puts into loving me. Not a day goes by that I don't know how much he loves me. Looking back, I know I did nothing to deserve him.
I am thankful God put us together. I am thankful for his commitment to me. I am thankful that he is always praying and asking God to make him into the man he wants to be. I have a great marriage because I have a great man.

There is no special occasion behind this post. It's just with everything going on around me I wanted to take time to let him know how much I love him. He is the reason I am who I am today and that I am better than I was yesterday.
But what I really want to know is...
Now that I said all that, what am I going to say on my anniversary?

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

It's over?

The other day I said to my husband, "I guess we should take down the tree." He said, "Can you do it Monday when I go back to work, I don't want it to be over."
Me neither I love Christmas! It is such a fun time of year. Christmas, unlike a vacation, doesn't have to end, does it?
Monday morning, Bill had to go back to work, the kids had to go back to school, and I, finally, could go back to eating bon bons and watching soaps. It was back to reality.
We had a fun break with some good family time. We took the kids to see the Globetrotters. It was fun, they put on a good show for the kids (and me too!) It was funny we had 2nd row seats and the kids were still looking at the jumbo tron! Goofballs!
Santa came to my parents house one night. My kids ran from him! Then, once they felt comfortable, they were back to their normal selves. My kids are the only kids I know that would fight with one another IN FRONT OF SANTA!

Anyway, I don't think Christmas is ever really over... Christmas lives in your heart every day. I am sure that as long as you remember the true meaning of the holiday it is never over.
Happy New Year to you and may this year bring you everything your heart desires!