Friday, June 10, 2011

I am not sure

that I was made to be the mother of a teenager!
I don't like freedom. I mean, I love freedom, my own freedom, but I do not like it when my kids want it.
They should have to stay where I can see them at all times!
Poor Tyler, he knows his mom is a bit of a freak. Last night, he went to youth group with a friend and he didn't get home until 10:30. He knew when he walked in the door I was in a state of panic and the first thing he said was, "I know, it's late, I told him at 9:00 I was ready and my mom is going to start worrying." I said, "Next So, I am not sitting here wondering what has happened."
It's horrible, the thoughts that go through your mind when your kids aren't home. I know Tyler is a good kid (or at least has me fooled) but bad things can happen to good kids. I do not like the thought of him driving or driving with someone, it's scary.
He has started a job this week. He is so excited and I am so proud of him for getting the job all on his own. But it's another part of letting go, another piece of my heart, gone. In my mind I think, what's next? A car, a girlfriend, his own house, married, the list goes on and I am not ready for all that.
Even though I didn't know it then, I must have made my mom crazy with all my late nights. Letting go is hard, whether its first steps, first day of school, or first date. I want to keep them little forever but unfortunately I can't. I need to learn to embrace it and accept the new adventures life throws my way.

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