My dilemma

So, anyone who has been around my children knows that they are 100% boy. I am glad they are tough little boys. But sometimes that "tough" makes my life a little tough!

Isaiah's teacher asked to talk to me yesterday. My heart sunk, first thing in my mind was "Oh no, what could he have done?" Knowing Isaiah, it could be anything! He hasn't developed that filter yet. I had so many thoughts going through my head, I was sick.

I met with her and she said that another parent had called the principal because Isaiah kicked her son. My first thought was what am I going to do with that kid! Then, she went on to say when and where it happened. Isaiah wasn't there at that time.

Do I think it happened? It very well could have. I am not foolish to believe he isn't capable of doing it. He can be a monster, I say that with love because he is my monster! But I have seen him in action.

Do I think that the whole truth is being told? No, I don't. I think it was a game of push and shove and someone had to take the blame.

I am not defending my son, I wasn't there to see it and I will deal with it appropriately but I am upset that because of this, he has to go to the principals office. Because the parent called the school, it is procedure.

I sat Isaiah down after school yesterday and talked to him. He didn't deny the accusation but said they were both messing around. I told him he was going to have to go to the principals office at school today, he cried and cried. My heart broke to see the fear in his face. After we talked some more he said he doesn't want to go to kindergarten anymore and wants to go back to preschool. I had to be tough when I wanted to cry with him and explain to him it is a hard lesson learned. He has to learn when to walk away and when it's time to find different friends. He is 5, he doesn't understand, everyone is his friend.

I sit here upset today, crying, thinking of how scared my baby is today. I keep telling myself the same thing another teacher told me, it may be an eye opener. Maybe, he will see the importance of listening and walking away.

I know I am not a perfect parent, I didn't write this to hear what a good mom I am because I know I can do better. I write this because I love those boys and it hurts me to see them hurt and scared. It helps me sort through my thoughts and to put how I feel in writing.

I have a lot of mixed feelings over this situation. I wonder why it wasn't something the teacher wasn't told about first? Why was it brought right to the principal? I will never say it was okay for him to do what he did if he did it, he will face consequences for his behavior. But I also will stand by the way I feel, I wouldn't have got the principal involved unless there was bruises, blood or broken bones. Or if it was an ongoing thing.

Kids are going to be kids, I know that my kids have been on the other side of it too. They have came to me as the "victim." My response is to stay away from that person, if it continues, we can deal with it. Most of the time, it doesn't happen again.

I am making myself crazy over this, feeling like I have failed somewhere. I have always said they might drive me crazy at home but I can handle that as long as they are good at school. This is a first, none of my kids have ever been sent to the principals office.