Again I wonder...

How can it be? Almost a year has gone by. So many things have changed but, I guess that is the way life goes.

We have decided to pull our kids out of their public school. It wasn't an easy decision. But, we felt it was in their best interest for at least a while. It is hard to watch your kids struggle and suffer. They told me they couldn't even raise their hand to ask a question without getting made fun of. I don't understand the bullying that goes on. 

Here we are, on MLK day, Facebook is filled with "love conquers all." Yes, I believe it does but will you feel that way tomorrow or better yet in 6 days when our country gets a new president? I am not pretending to have it all together because I don't but, if we all would love the way we say we should love then what a different place this world would be. What a difference it would make in the lives of those around around us, our children in particular. 

Bullying is real. I think it starts at home. I have seen a lot of adults acting in a way that is terrible. Your children are watching, every move every word...

Love is action and we should all practice it daily. Then, and only then, will we see a different world. I am guilty, I do not type this blameless. I need to look at people with love because God loves them, all of them. We are all the same in His eyes. 

Roman 3:23 says, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"

Proverbs 22:2 "The rich have a common bond, The LORD is the maker of them all."

I still have a long way to go, falling short every day...

Sometimes, I wonder

why I stopped writing

I love to write and express my emotions. It is therapeutic for me. I laugh. I cry. I smile. I get mad. I type then delete and retype. But I should try to keep blogging. It is awesome to go back and read and remember things I forgot. 

Yesterday, I was told I should write a romance novel, with one of the subtitles being "The Greatest Love Story Ever Written"

I am not sure I can write a book.

I tried writing a book on my sisters life. It is hard and emotional. I cried a lot.

 Maybe it was the topic. Maybe I could write about my marriage. But one thing is for sure I love to write down memories and I need to be more consistent. My kids aren't getting younger and soon will be grown. I don't want to miss anymore.

So, I think I will commit to write, if not daily every other day something that has happened in the Looman house because there is always something going on!

Mom, why do you double bag my lunch?

Mom?

 Why do you double bag my lunch?

 I was asked that question the other day by 

my 12 year old. 

My answer simply, so the bag doesn't rip through and you lose 

your lunch.

 But really why do I double bag?

 I double bag to save him the embarrassment. I double bag to keep him from being laughed at. 

I double bag to protect him that is what it comes down to.

As I thought about it, I wondered, what if?

What if life had a double bagging system? 

Then, I could spare my kids of the hurt, pain, embarrassment, guilt, suffering they will face in this 

life. I wish at times I could double bag my own life. Just an extra layer of protection. When life starts to hurt and that first bag starts to rip you have the other to save your "lunch" from landing on the floor.

That would stop the embarrassment, wouldn't it? 

Then I thought there is another side of this. 

If we always double bag...

 How do we grow? 

How do we learn from mistakes?

 Worse yet, if we always double bag how can we expose whats on the inside? 

What a shame it would be to keep everything hid and not let anyone see our insecurities,

 and weaknesses? How would we ever have a sincere relationship if all they saw was the outside? 

It is through transparency we develop relationships. Letting people in letting them see the messy.

 Letting them know you are human.

I will probably continue to double bag my sons lunch to save him unnecessary embarrassment. 

Maybe at times, that second layer will save him from being laughed at. I hope someday, his bag rips

  letting everything inside falls out. 

How will he respond?

 How will others respond? 

When everything is out there for others to see, that is when the real person inside shows.

The relationships in my life have grown because I have exposed my hurts and insecurities.

 When people see that you have struggles, they can relate and do not feel alone. 

After all, isn't that is what life is about...

Building relationships and loving people; 

when it's not so pretty

when it's not easy

when their bag is tore... 

We are all being "chiseled"

The truth is Bill and I are just two ordinary people. We have never seen

ourselves in a leadership role at church. We never thought we were worthy to

lead. We still feel unqualified. We were fine being people behind the

scenes.  God presented us with a need and we have tried to fill that need.

The last series Bill taught was on God using ordinary people to do

extraordinary things and I think that is what God is doing in our lives. We

are two people with broken pasts who met God has chosen to

use. I was a single mother, Bill a divorced father, together, the married

parents of three more boys. I am not perfect neither is my husband. We love

people but we've made mistakes and let some down. We are human and I know that

on this path God has put us on we will fall, we will stumble and we may get

hurt and we may hurt others. I believe our hearts are true and we love and

we don't take it lightly. We have cried, we have fought and we have asked

God why. We have said this isn't us. We have doubted, but I know I know that

nothing happens by accident. We are being used right here right now for a

purpose. The outcome is up to God. Only He knows. Personally, I wouldn't

want it any other way. This road traveled is worth it if at the end of it,

one person comes to us and says thank you my life has been changed and

through you I found God. In Luke 15, Jesus gives three parables. Each one

refers to someone or something being lost than found. Luke 15:7 says,

speaking of the lost sheep that was found, "I tell you that in the same way

there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over

ninety nine righteous persons who do not need to repent." Luke 15:10 says,

“In the same way I tell you, there is a rejoicing in the presence of the

Angels of God over one sinner who repents." Finally, referring to the

lost son, Luke 15:32 says, "But we had to celebrate and be glad because this

brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.”

 He is lost and is found!

 The same words you find in that old hymn everyone

knows "Amazing Grace." I once was lost but now I'm found. God's grace is

amazing something only He can offer. He just chooses different vessels to

work through. I remember another song, "I Want to be More Like You," in it

there is a line that says, "I want to be a vessel you work through." That is

who and what we are...vessels. God is at work, not us, we are an empty

vessel.  We are a rock being chiseled into who God wants us to be. I will

tell you, it's hard sometimes an I fall to my knees asking God why? Why me?

Why us? And the answer I get is, why not? I often feel like Moses pleading

with God in Exodus 4 about not being smart enough or having the right words

but God answers me by saying, "Go, I will help you speak and teach you what

to say." He does what He says. He gives me strength. I know I will still

say something and do something wrong. I know through all of this I am being

"chiseled" I am being forced to grow and change and see people how God sees

them. The God of the universe loves them and so should I.

This thing they call life...

is still changing!

Even though I still don't like change, some changes are for good.

One of the biggest changes has been Bill filling in as pastor at our church, The Refuge. I know that it has been a challenge for him. He feels unqualified for the job, as I am sure a lot of pastors do. But, honestly, are any of us qualified? When I became a mom, I wasn't qualified. I was a young girl with a baby, I didn't know what to do with. As he got older, I still didn't know. It was a "learn as you go" process. I don't think I am qualified still even after my fourth one but I have healthy, happy kids who tell me daily they love me. Qualified, maybe not, but I am teachable and continue to learn every day. 

Another positive with your husband filling in as pastor, you are forced to look at your own life. Not that I walk a straight line because I don't but, I have caught myself more recently being more aware. Aware of other peoples feelings, aware of decisions I make, aware of words I say because you never know who may be watching. I have found that small gestures go miles;

*a smile 

*making eye contact
*asking about their day
*a hug
*a kind word

*a card

Most people aren't looking for much,

they want; 

Someone to care 

Someone to let them know they matter

Someone to tell them they are special

Someone to be proud of them

I don't have it all together. I have so much work to do in these areas. I fail, miserably, a lot of the time. But with the changes life has brought my way, I try and I want to try. I want to be different. I know I have a long way to go but God is working. 

God has put Bill and I in this position, we have found it to be challenging at times, but rewarding. I see God's hand working in peoples lives. 

I never would have thought God would choose to use us in this way but He has. We chose to accept the change and challenge, God will do the rest.

1, 2, 3 strikes you're out

Jacob has started his first year of baseball. He really seems to be enjoying it. In the past few games, he has really improved. He has been on a hitting streak. I am proud of him for giving it his best. I hope he will continue to play next year. 

Sports are a big commitment for everyone involved. There are times my life is just crazy but I wouldn't want it any other way. I am glad my kids are active in sports. It is good for them to learn sportsmanship and how to get along with others. I hope they realize that winning is a team effort and it takes everyone on the team to make it happen, everyone is important no matter what position they play.

Perfect?

Sometimes in life I think we try to hard to be perfect. 

I remember as a young girl, my brother's always called me "perfect." I am sure they weren't trying to be mean (after all they did love me, right?). I am sure they were just upset because I always did my homework, not that they didn't. I didn't get in trouble in school not that they did but maybe they didn't get as good grades as me (wink, wink)?

I don't know why they thought of me that way. I knew I wasn't perfect even though at a young age I wanted to be. I always thought one day I will marry the perfect man, we will have the perfect house, our children would be perfect, I would have the perfect career (of course, I was pop star material after all).

So, what is perfect? 

(according to the dictionary/world)

-having all the required elements or characteristics 

-absolute, complete

-make completely free from faults or defects

So, you ask...

Did I find the perfect man? 

I found the perfect man for me.

Do we have the perfect house? 

We have the house that was made for us.

Are our children perfect?

Of course they aren't but they are healthy.

Did I become the next female pop star?

Absolutely not! I can't sing a single note.

Lately, I have been finding myself thinking that if I could change certain things, I would be perfect.

If I had a new bigger house, life would be better.

If I could just have another baby, my family would be perfect.

I don't think there is any thing wrong with dreaming. I think you should always try to improve life. 

My problem has become this;

I find myself striving to have more, be more, do more and in the meantime I lose sight of what I do have. Everyone around me suffers because I feel like I am not "perfect." 

I need to realize that I will never be perfect by the worlds standards. I am, however, in the perfect spot. I am right where I need to be. I have the family I need. I have the friends I need. I have the home I need. 

Perfect? No way!

Perfect seems like it may be boring. Without mistakes, we wouldn't grow. Without imperfections, there would be nothing to change. If we never changed, we would always be the same. I am glad my brothers were wrong. I am glad I am not perfect. It makes my life interesting and worth living.

"I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection"

Life has a funny way...

of going on when you just want it to slow down a little bit.

I remember as a kid, the school day dragging. It never seemed to end quick enough. I remember wanting Christmas to come faster every year. My birthday never seemed to come.

Then it happened, time sped up. 

Here I am, 41 years have gone by, each one faster than the one before.  Seasons come and go, I don't know why they have to go so quickly. 

Life, however, has been good. I have had struggles and bad times but the good outweighs the bad. I learn to treasure it every day. My husband is my greatest blessing, I adore him so much. There are days my kids drive me up the wall but every night I thank God for them. I am grateful for my parents, who taught me life lessons. I was blessed to spend 28 years with my sister, the best friend a girl could ask for. I love each of my brothers, they each bring something different to my life. 

Every once in a while, life has a funny way of making you slow down and treasure those you love. We recently lost someone we love unexpectedly. Her death helps put things in perspective. Our time here is short. We need to love always and not take a single day for granted because tomorrow is not ours. I know I need to work harder at this, I take a lot of things for granted.

"One day you'll be a memory to some people, do your best to be a good one."

"Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they tell about you." Shannon L Alder

It's almost over...

Summer that is!

Where did it go? So, much going on all the time...

Tyler has graduated high school. Where did that time go? He is starting college in a couple weeks. He has been working at the same place for three years. All the pushing and hard work pays off in the end, (or the start of a new chapter). Funny though, you think at eighteen they don't need you (hahaha) that boy would be lost without me! I am so proud of him.

Jacob, to know Jacob is to love him. He is as obnoxious as ever but he really is a big help. Whenever I need a favor, he is my first volunteer. If I need someone to go to the store with me, he hops in the car. We will find something he is passionate about someday, but until then, he will be Jacob.

Football season has started. What a craziness that brings to our lives! At the field by 5:30 on the field until 8:00. I love that Joshua puts his uniform on everyday though. It says a lot about him. As I watch him practice and run (and run some more) my heart is happy. He loves every minute of it and, yes I am gonna say it, so do I.

Isaiah is as ornery as ever. He is always into something. He is Macgyver Jr. these days. That is a scary thing but cute at the same time. He is going to grow up to be someone great, he has an awesome imagination! 

Bill has started blender nights on our new patio, strawberry daiquiris, pina coladas, or whatever you may prefer. Friday nights, at the "new cabana" Look for your invite if you haven't gotten one! I can't tell you how much I love my husband. He is a true gift from God and perfect for me. I don't say that because of his bar-tending skills, that is a bonus :) 

Just a quick update on our family, hope I stay inspired.

"In Christ, there are no goodbyes...

In Christ, there is no end.

 so I'll hold on to Jesus with all that I have 

to see you again

to see you again

  I close my eyes and I see your face, 

if homes where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow..." 

For some reason, this July has hit me hard. 

I had a dream the other night I was yelling at God. Yelling as loud as I could "I don't know what you want from me!?" Then, on my knees crying, "What do you want from me???" 

 I tried to figure it out when I woke up. I talked to Bill he thought maybe I need to find a way to be a peace with things. I have peace. I know that God has a plan, not my plans, his and I can't change that. I can't tell you it always makes sense. I can't tell you that I don't get angry. I can tell you I cry. I can tell you it still hurts like it was yesterday. I can also tell you, I have peace, peace in knowing I will see her again because God has made me that promise. 

My sister had a desire, a passion, a dream that one day everyone she loved would know and love Jesus. As I read her journals, it becomes even more clear. She loved the Lord with everything in her. 

 It made me think about the difference between selfishness and selflessness.

My sister was selfless. She never complained, she never wished sickness on another, she knew God had a reason for choosing her. She lived life believing that if her battle touched just one person it was worth it. 

Now that she is gone, I find myself wondering how I can help make her dying wish come true? How can I continue her legacy? How can I help to make sure all the people she loved see her again? 

The truth is I can't...

That is why I found myself crying out to God in my dream.

I can't do it 

She couldn't do it

Her lost fight with cancer couldn't do it

It comes down to a choice. A choice we all have to make. A choice that should be so simple.

Are we going to live our lives selfless? 

Serving others, praying that someday they walk those streets of gold along side us? Sacrificing our own desires.

Or do we choose to remain selfish?

 Believing this life is about making ourselves happy, living for the moment. Not going beyond our comfort zone. Inconsiderate to the others around us.

I choose Jesus. I choose to believe that He died for me. I choose to believe His promises. Without Him there is no hope. 

I know I have a long way to go.

 I know there are times I will be selfish. I know there are times I will mess up.

I also know that I have a longing to continue my sisters legacy. She lived to impact her family and those around her for Christ.  It was evident in the way she lived out her life in such a selfless way.

My prayer is that when that day comes and my time on this Earth is done, I will be in Heaven with my sister, our parents, our brothers, and all of those we love.  

Life's about changes...

I have always struggled with change. I do not like anything that messes with the way I am used to things. 

I have had to make quite a few adjustments in life but when things get back to "normal" I don't like the sudden interruption. 

It probably sounds selfish, doesn't it?

I don't mean for it to.

I have to find a way to cope with some things but it means closing a door that I don't want to close. A door that I don't even want there. A door that was "ajar" and I had learned to live with it. 

Everyday, I read about or hear about changes, people I know and people I don't know, are going through. Life can be hard, who am I kidding life is hard! 

The bible says, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end." A couple verses later it says, "I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so people will fear him."

(Ecclesiastes 3:11 and 14)

It's the "in time" part that is hard. I know that God will make something beautiful. I have to learn God's time, not my time. I often question how much time? When does the hurt stop? How do I accept change?

I am still learning, I stumble, I cry, but I will get through.

As I was driving yesterday I heard a song that said,

"I won't give you more

more than you can take

And I might let you bend

but I won't let you break."

I know that I am being shaped into the person God wants me to be. It is a lifelong process. I will some out on the other side standing. 

Thank you to those who have listened to me cry and have wiped my tears. 

I can't change the way things are but I do know God is creating something beautiful in His time. I need to remember that when something causes me to bend.

There are angels among us...

When my sister saw that Joshua was a "blanket baby" she started making blankets for all the kids hoping that one of them would carry around a blanket she made. Joshua was already attached to his blankets but Isaiah started carrying one. 

After years of being loved, chewed on and dragged everywhere, it was down to it's last strings. He came to me and said, "Mom, why can't Aunt Mandy come down from heaven and fix this blanket for me? I love this blanket and it's no fair why can't God send her back?" 

I knew I had to fix it but I didn't know how. I wasn't sure I wanted to. I thought I could just put it up and give it to him when he was older but he wasn't having that.

So, I asked a friend from church. She knew exactly how to fix it and said it would be an honor.

Yesterday, we went to pick it up. The look on his face was priceless, he held that blanket all the way home and slept with it last night. When he woke up this morning he said, "I don't want to go to school today, I want to spend some more time with my blanket."

Mandy was always worried that Isaiah wouldn't remember her because he was so young. But not a day goes by when he doesn't mention her. He has woke up in the morning and said to me "Mom, I talked to Aunt Mandy last night." He is too young to make that up, I believe that blanket is his connection to her, somehow through holding on to that blanket, he holds on to her. 

She has left a legacy in the hearts of my children that will never die. 

"Mom, I wish Aunt Mandy could see me now that I am six."

She does...

Life's about changes...

This week started a new phase in my life.

I am home alone for the first time in eleven years! I can't stand the quiet some days but on the bright side I have been able to complete some jobs that really needed done.

This year my oldest baby started his senior year. I can not believe it, just yesterday I was holding my baby boy. Now, with a full beard :-/ he is in his last year of high school! This year will be hard for me, I would keep them babies forever. I hope I have done all I could to get him ready for the next chapter in his life!

 My youngest baby has started first grade! He will be seven soon, I guess I must have blinked because I  don't know how this happened either! Joshua started third grade and Jacob is now in fourth grade. Just to think middle school is right around the corner makes me cringe! 

Minutes, hours, days, then years...

Life never seems to slow down.

I read somewhere not too long ago to slow down, enjoy your kids where they are they won't be there long. Oh, how I know this is true...

Almost eighteen years has past since I first became a mom never once do I ever remember wanting my kids to hurry and grow up. It happens soon enough!

I love you Tyler, Jacob, Joshua, and Isaiah!!!

Remember no matter how old you are you will always be my babies! There will never be anything you can do to change that! 

I guess you never know...

when somebody is following you!

Not stalking or creeping just following...

your blog that is. 

I was at a football game for Joshua on Saturday and bumped into an old family friend. My mom and her have been friends since the seventh grade! Talk about a long friendship! 

She mentioned that I hadn't blogged in a long time and to tell you the true, I didn't think anyone really read it anyway. Blogging has always been more for me. A way to express myself, something for my kids to read when they get older to remember how crazy they made me!

Anyway, it made me think about my friends. I have found friends through Facebook that I knew in fourth grade! If we had only stayed in touch what an incredible friendship that could have been!  

I have good friends, I really do. I am thankful for them all in their own special way. They have all touched my life in a way that is unique. I have friends who knew me back when and still love me today. I have friends who never forget important days or events in my life. I have friends who take time out of their schedule to spend time with me when I need them.

So, I want to take the time to thank my friends. Thank you for making me important to you! I look forward to the laughter, I am ready for the tears, and cherish all the memories!

Thank you Peggy for the nudge I needed. I look forward to the day my friends and I can look back and say, "I remember when your daughter used to suck her thumb and twirl her hair around her finger."

Grandpa...

Growing up my dad never really knew his dad. I am not sure of all the details and none of it really matters. People do what they do and they have their reasons and its not for me to judge.

My dad never thought his dad wanted anything to do with him and we come to find out over the years grandpa was afraid of rejection too.

I remember when I was 16 I had a strong desire to find my grandfather. I wanted to know if he was alive. I wanted him to know he had grandkids. I wanted to know him.

So, I set off on a mission...

I wrote a letter to his sister to see if she had known where he was. I wasn't sure what kind of response I was going to get. I prepared myself for the worst but what I got was an answered prayer.

I remember the day the phone rang, one of my brothers answered then yelled,

"SHERRY!!! IT'S A BOY!!!"

How embarrassing!

Then I hear the voice on the other end say,

"Sherry?"

"Yes?"

"I hear you are looking for your grandfather?"

"Yes?"

"Well, I am your grandfather."

Tears flowed like water.

I couldn't believe it!

He was alive and he called me.

For years he had felt that his family would reject him. Afraid they wouldn't forgive him for what he did.

As the conversation went on I learned he had remarried, where he was living, and how he would love to meet us.

"I wish my dad was home so he could talk to you."

He never thought my dad would return that phone call but he did.

23 years ago my dad reunited with his dad. It had been decades since he last saw him but now their relationship is complete again.

My grandpa will be 91 this year. It has been a blessing to get to know him. It has been great to know my dad has filled a void.

I love stories with happy endings.

Valentine's Day

Yesterday, was Valentine's Day...

I agree with most people, it's a Hallmark holiday. Why not show people you love them all year? I love getting gifts, cards, and flowers just as much as anyone else but if my husband only bought them once a year, does he think about me the other 364?

Why is it that early November the baby nursery at the hospital is full? Why aren't love and passion shown the rest of the year?

Maybe I am being negative, I don't mean to be. This world is in need of people who show love everyday. Maybe the divorce rate wouldn't be so high if your spouse knew you love them 365 days a year. Maybe our children wouldn't look for love somewhere else, in someone else, if they knew their parents love them.

Okay, I am done with my little rant

With that said, I love my husband, I love my kids, I love my family, and I love my friends. If ever any of you don't know that I love you every day feel free to let me know...

But for the record, if Bill ever forgot me on Valentines Day, I might be a little upset!

He's gonna have to deal with it!

I can't tell you the times that people have said to me they can't tell Jacob and Joshua apart. I've heard about their strong genes. They have been thought to be twins.

The older they get and the closer in height they get, I can see where it could be confusing.

Joshua, for the past few days, has been into doing his hair in a mohawk. He is so excited to have his own bottle of "glue" and does most of the work by himself. This morning, however, Jacob wanted to have a mohawk too. I am fine with it, it's a passing craze just like everything else! Joshua had the biggest fit! He insisted that he did not want Jacob to look like him and why Jacob couldn't just think of his own hairstyle blah, blah, blah...

I said, "Son, have you ever looked in the mirror? Have your teachers ever called you by the wrong name? You both look alike, you might as well accept it!" The argument went on for the next ten minutes or so. I didn't quite understand what the big deal was, they're brothers they are going to look alike!

I tell them to get their shoes and coats on we have to get to school. I walk outside and they are playing basketball. I later find out that they are making a deal. If Jacob loses, he is not allowed to wear his hair in a mohawk again. If Joshua loses, Jacob is allowed to wear his hair any way he wants. Sounds like they have it all worked out but I promise, this will not end good.

So, the funny part of this whole thing is they were wearing the EXACT same outfits this morning. When I mentioned that fact, "I don't care about that!" is the reply I got.

Who can figure it?

One of these days, they are going to get along.

One of these days they will take it as a compliment that they look alike.

One of these days...

I have been telling Tyler lately...

to walk softly on my heart. It does seem like that long ago that the young man you see today with a full beard was once my baby boy.

I didn't know what to do with him when I brought him home from the hospital. It was hard to imagine being responsible for this new life.

This was always one of my favorite pictures. I loved that face he used to make!

What a handsome boy he was!

I thought if I was going to embarrass him with some old pictures I better throw one in of myself.

Boy, was I mad at him when he took that chunk out of his hair! But it makes a cute picture now.

I have been reminiscing these past few weeks because I can not believe that the little boy I once held in my arms will be eighteen this year. You want them to chase their dreams but that means you have to let go, and I am finding that easier said than done. College is right around the corner and I find myself wondering how do I make it through graduation day?

Soon enough the day comes when he comes home and tells you about his girlfriend. It just crushes your heart. Not because you don't wish him happiness but because you realize that some day someone will become his bride. She will then become the most important woman in his life.

How I would love to hold on.

How I would love to go back and rock that baby boy to sleep.

How I would love to stop time just for a little while but I can't.

I have to learn how to embrace the changes that life brings.

My kids are going to grow up, I always knew that but what I don't know is how to fill the hole it leaves.

I can't always protect them. I can't stop them from being hurt. I can't prevent mistakes they will make. I can only hold them in my arms for a little while. I loved them first and I will always love them. I pray that I have taught them what they need to know when they head out in the world. I hope they know that they will always have a piece of my heart. I hope they know that I will be there for them as long as God gives me breath.

Oh, how I love you Tyler and I always will

but remember my heart is fragile

HANDLE IT WITH CARE!

A little humor

Okay, how about a little funny. Life doesn't always have to be so serious!

I miss my kids being little and learning to talk. It's funny that once they learn how to say a word right they don't seem to remember saying it wrong. Here is a list of some of the funny ways they used to pronounce some words.

The vocabulary of a Looman boy...

bow-gock; backpack used for carrying kids

twinkling; what it's doing outside when it is barely raining

cheese biggles; cheeseburgers

moat; milk...duh?

hojo; another word for cereal

Bit; for some reason, was what Joshua and Isaiah called Jacob?

Oh-no; what Isaiah called Joshua

Beemah; grandma

Bampaw; grandpa

For Peeten snakes; for Pete's sake

jimming pool; the swimming pool

sha-ber-rees; batteries

skew; screw

skew-guy-ger; would be a screwdriver

I ud you; I love you

res-ter-nont; restaurant

owe owe; oil

strawbiggies; strawberries

ho-tail; hotel

glubs; gloves

ockles; waffles

heggy; heavy

bice-ee; spicy

talkie; coffee

napcan; napkin

dip dop; is a flip flop

eye bulb; eye ball

Let's not forget...

Thomas and Jerry

"put another dime in the "juice" box baby"

Oh, how I miss those days...

Right where I need to be...

I know it's been said over and over again but with every passing day I find it's true.

As I look back at my life there are times I wanted to

~be someone else

~live somewhere else

~do something else

How I wanted to be rich when I was younger. I wanted to live in that big house like the kids I went to school with. I wanted my parents to get a new car just like everyone else. I was a kid, it was all about fitting in.

As I got older, I wanted to meet (who am I kidding, I wanted to marry) Jon Bon Jovi, Kirk Cameron, Joey Tempest...

Then, Tim McGraw, boy, was I mad when he married Faith Hill, Why? Because I stood a chance?!?!

As years passed, I wasted my time, never went to college, never got that big career, the one I dreamed about. I remember wanting to be a teacher, I remember my imaginary class, my grade book, each of my "students" (they even had their own personalities).

Life went on, I settled for that dead end job but it paid the bills. So, I kept it.

But, along the way, you don't think about the people who cross your path. How you are in their life whether you want to be or not, whether it's your dream job or not.

You are there.

Sometimes, I look back and remember the people that had an effect on my life. I met them right there where I was and where they were. Maybe, they were friendly maybe they weren't but they all had an impact.

Had I not been there, I wouldn't have met some of the best people in my life.

Had I not been there, I wouldn't be who I am today.

Had I not been there, I wouldn't have met the man I love.

Had I not been there, I wouldn't be here.

I believe that I am right where I am meant to be. Right here with people who need me and people I need.

Not rich people

Not famous people

But real people, people with problems, people who don't have it all together, people who love me and my imperfections.

Everyone needs someone to love them

Everyone needs someone to help them through

Everyone needs someone to hold on when they want to let go

Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on

My life may have not turned out the way I planned. That big house, that new car, that fame, that job never happened but I have so much more. God has surrounded me by the people I need to be surrounded by.

And I can say without a doubt that

I know I am right where I need to be...